Why, hello! It's been a minute since I've blogged. Dare I blame it on the holidays? (Too easy.) What about being a working mom? (Nope, that's the majority of us.)
Let's just say I've been putting it off.
The past few posts, I've felt deeply about whatever it was I wrote. I wanted to share why I started Atticus & Co. I wanted to chat about what being a shop owner feels like after you've pressed the "I'm Going For It" button. But these days, I haven't exactly been sure what I wanted to send out into the world....then last week hit.
It was one of those weeks. What had been bubbling slowly for months came to a full boil - and it was melt down city. Too many to do's. Too many expectations. A few levels of unpreparedness that left me feeling insecure. I blew, it wasn't pretty. And I ended with needing to say a couple "I'm sorry's" to people who had unknowingly walked into neurotic world.
As a "shop boss", I try to bring the best version of myself to the store. We all do, right? Whether you're a teacher, a hygienist, or a barber, you present your best. Our spouses often get the slightly-uglier version, but they are doing the same thing at their job, so they understand.
After the week of unraveling ended, I had to unpack what went wrong. What I found was pretty simple. Yes, it was an abnormally busy week. But mostly, the culprit was - change. Change in my personal life. Change in my professional life. It had happened. A lot of the change was good things...needed things...but change requires some downtime to process, and I hadn't given myself that time.
Personally, my family changed. Our daughter left home to attend college and that left our little family grappling with a new normal. (After 18 years, you kind of get used to someone being around, you know?) We found the normal again, but it was difficult and at times, the emptiness was pushed aside instead of processed.
Professionally, Atticus is changing. Growing. Well, growing UP. New processes are being implemented as we speak, there's a focus on a future A&Co. 2.0 that we haven't even cracked the tip of the growing "to-do list", and if I were in the navy, I'd say the efforts to run a tighter ship have left me pining for land at times. Like, do we have to grow up? A&Co. 1.0 wasn't so bad, was it?
But we do have to grow up, and it's all really, really good. Growing up, change, kids moving out, weeks where you feel overwhelmed and want a do-over, that's just part of it. Not part of being a business owner....part of being a human.
There's a beauty in all of it and my dad used to say, "To hold the note is to spoil the song."
There's a song being written, and I can't get stuck on one odd chord that was struck. Maybe that odd chord was the exact note that needed to be played....the song will be better for it.
If you've been there, if you've ever had a fritz followed by billowing smoke in the shape of a forth-coming apology, I'm glad you've found company.
Here's to 2023. May we all learn to take time to process changes along the way.